Aloha phrends.....
A warning , today my inspiration is mis-guiding me to write something really cheesy and sentimental....kindly bear with me....as a writer has to explore all the shades of his art.....to make himself feel complete .....or that's what we say ...when we lack ideas and plagiarize somebody Else's work :P
This blog is actually inspired by a book that I read sneakily during my office lunch hours....
without further ado...
Krishna----the blue-hued lord.....much worshiped ....the one who bears the ire of the intellectuals and the vedantins alike...I personally belong to the school of advaita....and hence my experience with this particular deity has been minimal....but Krishna always has been depicted as a personality with so many hues, that sometimes it seems as if different people are talking about different personalities at the same time......a teasing lover , brilliant strategist and statesman, a guide to the uninspired.....
Lets say per se....Krishna was not a deity...maybe he was just a God fully aware of his mortality......what would have gone through his mind during the last few hours before he died....
Scene:
I stood staring at the sea...the source of all creation......I had watched it all begin here.....and to what purpose .......every man , a symbol of perfection who I watched grow under my personal care......today I stand alone offering "arghya" into the waters for their departed souls, whose very death I orchestrated.....
Gandhari has cursed me and my clan to a gruesome fate......I have accepted her judgement with a calm resignation.....every living thing has to live out its prarabdha karma.....be it animal, man or god incarnate....being bonded to the flesh, its pains have to be borne with patience and fortitude.....
Yes that has been my karma (destiny)......to pit brother against brother.....to provide man with the ideal, that nothing is greater than one's duty towards evolution.......towards the entire humanity......
How I wish, I had not been chosen for this......worshiped by yajnaseni (drauopadi), parth (arjun)..I had to protect him from Karna......I feel the weight of Karna's death on my hands......he who destiny had marked out to torture.....how could I not acknowledge that hero when he lived... I....the lord of All.....not understand the agony he went through....not knowing his own lineage.....misled at every turn by both his destiny and me......he had no chance.......
He knew me.......the day he set eyes on me...he knew ...I was the alpha and omega.....He knew that the people whom I support will have no defeat......he saw it the day I met him to disclose his identity....he saw what I could give him....."moksha" from the eternal transmigration that each soul is subject to.......HE surrendered himself to me that day......The bow was taut....the arrows flew....but Karna the mind had already surrendered at my feet......he was just finishing his karma (destiny)
His devotion to me was unsurpassable....though outwardly against me.....he even surrendered his "Kavacha -kundala" knowing fully well that it was I.....his protector who instigated Indra to make him devoid of his armor.....
such devotion....Arjuna will never understand.....truly Karna was "Daanveer"......finally he gave his own self to me......
How I wish I could have been on his side ...been his charioteer....imparted the "Gita" to him.......a man who was ready for the final flight of the soul......but his destiny would not allow me to do that.....forgive me Karna......O son of Surya.....verily you have attained my abode , by going beyond the Maya I created....ever aware of the world of duality, you surrendered yourself to me while fighting me....making me a helpless lord who is awed by the erudition of his disciple.....
Forgive me Parth.....I always knew you loved Draupadi the most, and could not bear her being shared by your brothers....Being a friend ,I knew your mind and I should have helped you......but again I orchestrated her marriage to all of you...as I had to ensure that the Pandavas always remained five.....for I could foresee that it was draupadi who was the common thread, as a string is through a set of pearls.....
without her each one of you would have gone your separate way....and then who would have protected the "dharma" (way of life)......
Her eyes haunt me.......she thinks of me as her own blood ......but what could I do...I had to bring about the game of dice where she had to be humiliated in front of everyone forging the bond between you five brothers......the final nail on the coffin of the Kauravas....
Forgive me yajnaseni.....I had to betray your trust.....for the gretear good....I could have burnt those sinners to cinder within the twinkling of the eye.....but I had to establish dharma.....the protocol had to be established.......
Though bound to the Pandavas.....your mind already was merged in me......Only you could go through all the torture that I put you through and still love me as the Lord.....for your love had no duality in it......it just accepted me as I was.....where people saw "Krishna " -the mayavi......you alone saw reason behind my actions.....
The day I met you and your husbands in the forest in the last year of your exile......and encouraged them to fight Duryodhana....I could see the flicker of pain in your eyes....you knew....that your lord has been using you as an instrument to abolish "adharma"....to bring to justice those who had sinned and at that moment you gave yourself up completely to me......Your husbands will never understand your love for me......A love which knew only the higher good.....which does not even have a tinge of greed in it but flows just because it enjoys in enveloping even the undeserving......You always reminded me of my mother Yashoda......
If ever I am born again....I would be born as your son....for no greater fortune can I think for myself....
Today as Jara (hunter who killed krishna)....prepares the arrow which will finish my incarnation....I remember you the most......I am tired......
I still remember the day when I came to protect you from the wrath of durvasa.....the akshaya patra had been cleansed and would yield no more food.....I ate a grain and the entire assembly of sages went home satiated....
I just want to eat the last morsel of food from your hands....but how dare I show my face to you.....because of me , you mourn the death of your sons in the battle of kurukshetra......
Maybe in the next lifetime........
No comments:
Post a Comment