In the last few months,the corporate sector in Mumbai is having a pretty good time.
Whenever there is a dull moment in the office, out they bring my reume and read the balderdash that I have enlisted under the guise of experience......

It comes across as a very shy resume which doesn't want to put out on the first date :P......It slowly draws out the reader making him feel there is more to come and finally dies a sudden death....
Going through it, a thought crossed my mind, as they often do and I realised, what would fate be dishing out to somene who has a distinct disadvantage compared to me...like say a thief...what if such a man decides to join the crime syndicate and decides to submit his resume for due consideration....

What is the procedure.......or should I say Modus operandi??.....do job portals post openings for such jobs.....
I can even imagine the flyers that would be on display
"Wanted .....thief with excellent sleight of hand.....and communication skills (in case he wants to talk his way out of a tight spot)
At least 3 years of work experience in safe-blowing, money-laundering and rooftop-climbing. Preferably should have at least a dozen aliases and should be a master of disguises"
Interested hooligans can contact Miss so and so....at this particular address...."
Lets say our hero or villain ...lets call him Fishy Sam for the sake of convenience....decides to give his luck a chance ....happens to go to the interview..
What would be the conversation like....
An AL-Capone like figure sits on the chair chewing his cigar with his eyes boring into the very soul of the candidates.....
Lets call him The big boss...
Boss: Hello....have a seat..Mr...sam
S: good evening sir...nice hat you have there...I daresay its your own??? No??....
B: So whatchya been doing for the past few years sammy.....any big heists under your belt???
S: Well...I have not been into heisting as much as I have been into pick pocketing....
I mean , I do have long term goals ....but a man has got to eat...and picking pockets is something that I have always wanted to do....
Leaving aside the money....the look of dumb surprise when the chum goes through his pocket trying to find where he kept his bag of doubloons......is worth the effort....
Its the satisfaction of a job well done......that matters....
B:Hmmm....So why do want to leave it now....why the interest in joining the syndicate....???...Have people become more wary....have they started wearing their money closer to their skins.???
S: Actually I am planning to settle......she is a safe-blower form downtown____ place....Looking at her you would never guess that she raids peoples houses at night and still maintains that school girl complexion of hers....
..I fell like I should have a little woman waiting for me at the old homestead when I bring in my loot for the day.......and though going through peoples pockets is good enough for me...I doubt whether it will satisfy the little woman.....
She is a tough cookie , that one.....she told me the other day that unless I get a reward of 20000$ tagged to my name , the wedding bells wont ring out..."
B:...Hmmm.....I see .....I still don't get why you urchins get hitched so early these days...In our days unless we had an assault robbery or atleast a couple of years behind bars...we did not contemplate matrimony...In any case ..I think prison prepares you for the holy state......
Well ..I think we may have something for you on the block...I hope you don't mind working in shifts.....and I hope you don't mind working in groups....I mean it makes the job all the more easier if you have an inside stand....
S: Not an issue sir....I will be quick to learn on the job...and will do you proud...In fact I will be so good that within a year all major security companies will start patenting new designs for locks and will start recruiting heavy weight wrestlers as security guards....
B: well sammy.....Congratulations ....you get the job.....and let me warn as one married man to another....there will be days when you will prefer to be in a cell with 4 guys you haven't had a decent shower in days to the company of your little woman as you call her.....
But all in due time friend...all in due time"